I don't call it home anymore
Yolly and Vangie share their experiences of mourning their loved ones while working abroad as domestic workers
Many migrant domestic workers leave home to provide a better future for their families. But what happens when a loved one at home dies, and mourning them in person is impossible?
The third and final contribution to our series Apart comes from Yolly and Vangie, two migrant domestic workers who are from the Philippines and are now based in the UK.
Suyin first met Yolly and Vangie in October 2023 through the Future Voices programme, a training and leadership project run jointly by The Voice of Domestic Workers and Sounddelivery Media. Both Yolly and Vangie were brought to the UK by their exploitative and abusive employers — they eventually managed to escape, and have since been supported by The Voice of Domestic Workers. As part of the Future Voices programme, they shared their experiences publicly for the first time in blogs available here and here.
Migrant domestic workers face multiple challenges and marginalisations in the UK. In many cases, employers have forced domestic workers to come to the UK without any knowledge or explanation. The current visa system, introduced in 2012 as part of the cruel and inhumane hostile environment suite of policies and legislation, also means they are effectively tied to and dependent on their employers with no recourse to public funding.
Over the last five years, The Voice of Domestic Workers has rescued more than 220 migrant domestic workers desperate to escape horrific environments created by their employers. Many have since been assessed by the Home Office within its modern slavery and human trafficking framework, but this assessment process — known as the National Referral Mechanism or NRM — is rife with problems. Domestic workers have described the assessment process as retraumatising and upsetting. Decisions on individual cases often take years to conclude, trapping already vulnerable people in an uncertain limbo state during which they are unable to leave the UK and be with their families abroad.
This context adds further complexity to the experiences of loss and grief. For Yolly and Vangie, both being away from their loved ones, and not being able to mourn or grieve them in person at home with their families and communities created another dimension of pain to their loss. This is an often unseen effect of the challenges migrant domestic workers face, and shows the emotional and psychological impact of oppressive systems and structures here in the UK. It is why organisations like The Voice of Domestic Workers are calling on the British government to re-instate the pre-2012 migrant domestic worker visa, and to treat workers with the basic respect, dignity and decency they deserve.
We are privileged to be sharing this audio storytelling piece, with Yolly and Vangie telling their stories in their own words and voices. We would like to share a content warning that this is a heavy listen, with mentions of suicide and death that may be upsetting. For more information, and to support The Voice of Domestic Workers’ campaigning and advocacy work, please visit their website here.
Thank you so much Yolly and Vangie for trusting us to help share your stories. Thank you to Arlette Moyi, for editing and sound design, and Javie Huxley, for the illustrations to accompany this piece. We are grateful to you both for taking such care with Yolly and Vangie’s stories.